I’m so tired and mad. Why am I awake at 2am, 4am, 6am. Why am I not hungry or too hungry, not sad or too sad, not talking to my body or letting my body shriek at me. 

No consequences for Ray other than the divorce really. I hope it hurts. Of course this one consequence also rests on my shoulders. 

“Every time I talk to you you’re unhappy, I’m worried about you,” fuck you mom. Absolutely zero concept of what the last several months have meant, any of it. Even what I did tell her seems to have made no impact on her brain. I am always glad I did not tell her more.