With cardamom and Jesus on your breath you whisper to me
Sinners cannot be saved, only individually redeemed
Through blood-- mine and Christ's-- so you keep me here
Leering, more eventuality than threat.
Even when I am away from you, even when I have chosen
Self protection and self love, I smell the reek
of whiteness, conflation of loss and plenty.

My life condenses without you
Crystallized down, I am sugar or acid by the mouthful
Hard-edged and waiting for dissolution