laughing about how much bad sex i have had in my life but isn't that just laughing at how many times i've been raped

how many times have i actually said yes said yes like molly said yes like oprah why are those the two polestars of my brain

fucking a man has always been a pleasuring of the part of my brain that desperately wants to secure conventional approval from those around me

i can't even remember ray

i don't remember what it's like to be in love

i don't remember being scared of losing ray

i don't remember 

so many things i don't remember: how many others' sins are fortunate for that? how many people i should have written up or strung up.

"i don't think i can pursue this any further" i said of my health insurance and mental health care

i meant it much more broadly