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it is possible that the sky is falling down

every car door is ray

here to take the dog here to hit me or scream at me or push his way into the house or throw a cinderblock through the back door break into the garage scream at all the neighbors make the cops come

write another police report

i have had to go to the mat too many times already how am i 32

the wasting of entire years, thousands of dollars, on people who make me feel like i'm at home with their manipulation, use, and abuse

how do i think it impacted my view on intimacy? I DON'T WANT IT

i would let sky help me, support me, resource me. let her make me cum in my bed where ray never slept. opened, pried apart by another round of trauma, she thinks i'm sexy...?

some parts of my body have come alive for her. are talking to my brain in a way they never used to. are attention seeking beggars and i am lucky to have sky to catch me when i swan dive into my sexuality.

i don't want it     i don't want it     i don't want it    

         i don't want it     i don't want it