old enough to see things coming full circle. the wounds of my childhood coming out of my mouth as an adult. i will not be shamed for my reactions to abuse. 

i genuinely do not know why other people don't choose painful growth over comfortable stagnation. i do not understand why others don't seem motivated to push harder or go farther. i have had to walk so far. i am still not anything like a human. i am still inclined to judge others for their inability to balance as much pain and stress and hate as i do. 

none of this even matters. it will all disappear off the face of the planet when i do.