I do not beg.

And for weeks
I cried in their offices, at their kitchen tables, on the phone
desperate with love.

I do not grovel but I went
and asked
everyone
for you.

I live. At any cost.

I screamed 
once
in October

because I knew
exactly
what was coming.

Tell Ray I love Michele.
Tell Ray there are entire minutes when I do not remember his name.