Six years ago today, a man committed the first act in a long string of violent acts against me, and it was a relatively harmless act of vandalism. Six years ago today, I was baffled and posted an irritable status on Facebook about it. I was almost willing to shrug it off, because it seemed like such a minor thing to call the cops about, and I didn’t want to be the girl making a big fuss about a small thing in a neighborhood that has much bigger problems.

It’s a weird anniversary to mark. Facebook showed me the six year old memory of the photo I posted and my chest got tight, my heart beat increased. I sit with these events every day. In the past few months, more women than ever before have begun speaking about the events that weigh on them. And last night, a room full of immensely talented, smart, capable, creative, powerful women decided to put a deadline on the fury we all feel: time’s up.

We live in a culture that teaches women to be small, be pretty, be seen but not heard. We raise daughters in a culture that says women don’t deserve the space required for truthtelling, even inside ourselves. We discount intuition. Silence is more culturally acceptable than authenticity. To say what you need, for a woman, is attention seeking; to have no needs, and prettily acquiesce to whatever is thrown at you, is to be praised. Rape jokes are more acceptable than asking for consent. Rapists are more socially accepted than rape survivors.

I want women to know that whatever is in their head or heart or gut is already the right answer, even before they ask someone to validate it. I want women to learn to recognize all the ways we are minimized and degraded and belittled, culturally, socially, interpersonally, because this is what destroys our internal compasses and self-confidence. We are less able to protect ourselves, to predict outcomes for ourselves, because we are taught over and over to question our own thoughts and feelings and motivations.

We must reaccustom ourselves to our own power in order to claim leadership over our own lives. We must prioritize our own voices over the cultural and social messages that scream at us every day. To find our agency and our abilities, we must center ourselves in our own truths. This work is not achieved through a single program, a single dialog, or a single hashtag, but I am endlessly grateful for #metoo and #timesup. These are hard times to remain publicly engaged as a trauma survivor, but I am thankful every day for the women who are visible, powerful, enraged, and leading us all forward.