So what if there was a monster in me, that Ray claimed to see while chronically incapable of seeing anything real or authentic about me at all? So what if there was a monster, claws and scales and sulfur fumes and all, so long as no one but me ever endured him? 

You thought you were bigger. Stronger. Smarter. Had more resources. Had more standing. 

If the monster in me is the part that lives, then he is the part that deserves life, and I will not apologize for the fact that you found him hard to vanquish.