the problem is
that i know the universe can, and will, take anything from me
so i live every day in the gutclench of impending scarcity
i stay grateful for what serves me, in the moment that it serves me, not expecting to see that grace again
and thanking the universe when some grace does come back around
in the form of a functional furnace, in the form of running water, in the form of a text that says "you don't have to reply to this, and you are loved, and you are wanted"
the universe can, and will, take everything from me
eventually
this is all just practice