i want to sit with my grief
look it in the eye
sing with it
but it won't sit still

it ranges, restless, between the extreme and obscene
between mimicry and denunciation
it insists on action where i would seek pause
it insists in community where i would seek solitude
it insists on meaning where i would seek space
perhaps following
grief
is the best direction i can take

i have underestimated the necessity of reflection