because by the time i say something
it will already be too late,
i'm writing a letter to you
that you will never read.
it's about how i've loved you too hard,
known you too well, kissed you too often.
it's about how i've
written this letter to you too many times
and never sent it, and should have,
many many times.
it's about how when i see you my heart
stops
and my blood races and i flush,
how when i kiss you my eyes close and
the churning of my body pauses
for just that one sweet moment.
it's about how your time
is so scarce, and how that in itself
wastes whatever effort you spend:
how i need more,
will always need more,
will never be sated or quieted or soft.
because by the time i say something
i have already decided
not to write this letter again,
i am writing it now, and will send it
after i've left.