the hardest part of ending a relationship isn't letting go:
it's moving forward alone.
instinctively then, i seek companionship, but who i am now--
how i think, how i talk, how i act, how i believe--
is entirely incompatible with dependence, or reliance,
or faithlessness.
i am full of myself, a complete and capable person,
whole and wholly sure that the work i am doing is necessary.
self-work, community work, world work.
loving and being loved by someone is
at once the greatest and the least task imaginable.
it's as well i'm with you, now, who needs so little,
just acquiescence and quiet and beauty.
these i have to spare;
it is effort, it is critical thinking, it is engagement and
drive and passion that i am running short of.
for you i create the illusion of control,
the illusion of youth, the illusion of being
continually in need of rescue;
when you eat these visions, digest these lies,
i am able to maintain my own control of who i am in your eyes.
of course you fell in love.
i'm good at what i do.