well all right, i'm fraying a bit at the edges. this morning rae said "i'm sure if we were really stuck, my parents would rescue us" and i said "but what if we have to rescue them?"
this is me with every structure that should feel supportive: it will break, and we will have to fix it; it will stop, and we will be without; the technology will break, the check will never come, the moon will never rise, we will live in this day forever.
there is nothing to do now but wait. we will schedule our conference calls and our video chats and write our emails and our memos and what if in a few months every business we try to prop up is shut down any way?
there is nothing to do now but wait. and get high, and pet the dog, and wait.