I go to a new place for active meditation and I don’t take a blindfold for the session, because my default position is one of not trusting (men / mixed gender spaces / new age spaces / the intention of becoming vulnerable) and it is a man in the class who says to me, you should take a blindfold, it really helps, and I say, oh it’s my first time here so maybe next time, and he says, are you sure it really helps, and I don’t understand why I’m even being asked the same question a second time by a man who does not know me why do I have to waste my breath and my time

I take a meeting with someone not affiliated with my new project because I am told that she could have good feedback about the project, she’s the partner of one of the men on the project, and she asks some discerning initial questions and then falls into a useless micro discussion and then a useless macro discussion and I can’t understand why I’m sitting in this meeting until I realize I’m listening to a two hour long compliment from him to his partner and I don’t understand why I agreed to sit invthis space and watch something interpersonal get played out on my time at my project