for what i feel tonight, here, i
will never forgive you.
this grudge
will be polished, carefully
stored up in the cement of my mouth,
tucked away behind my larynx
where it will feast on words
and oxygen.
for how you have made me feel
i will crush you
down to molecules, down to atoms,
between my knuckles
like so much stardust
till the carbon of you separates
from the nitrogen from
the arsenic and lead:
me and you and the elements,
poisons and all.
for your love of attention,
for your honesty in naming what it is:
this grudge will be
coal in my arteries, sedimentary,
compressed and chewing up my throat
till diamonds pour out of my mouth,
sharp and hard.