the lack of you has changed.
months ago it was pain, a deep ache
like a cancer in my stomach.
now all it means is discomfort,
feeling off course and unsure
which is its own kind of pain.

sarah, esther, rachel, where is my precedent?
naomi, where is my narrative to follow?
eve or mary, why not even a hint
of what is to come?

hagar, it is your path
that i am learning to see in my own.
the sale of loyalty and love,
the bondage of a body that might once have been
free, capable, careful.
in my heart you are a bronze pedestal,
a golden hand reaching down.
in my eye you are taller than even the mountains.