tides, and what they bring

it's hard to say,
it's hard to scream into a
perfect sepia-toned backdropped dream:
we are happy, we are smiling,
we are dropping drip by drip into each others' arms and i
feel so completely abandoned.

the sunshine is bright and we play games,
we chase waves in and out on the shore
and kiss beneath bright moons
we are holding hands and there is a deep voice
crawling out of the marrow of my bones
and it is powerful:
i am alone, and this is all a bright beautiful nothing.
no matter what we are now, no matter
what we build and create and shape from this point forward
there is a taint and it spells blood.

there are monsters beneath the bed, there are
deranged men with knives outside the door,
there are lovers who leave at a moment's notice
for waves that crash even louder
and suns that shine still brighter.
you can come back,
we can be all the things we always meant to be,
but in every breath there is a reminder
throughout my entire body:
each neuron fires lack
each artery pushes lack
every cell produces lack
my body is your ultimate betrayal.
when the truth is too hard to bury,
sometimes we turn to the hatchet.