Facebook status updates that i can't actually write.

Elaine has nightmares about waking up in Sudan one day.
Elaine is wondering why god is separated from us.
Elaine never wanted to be a music major anyways.
Elaine should probably just go ahead and be a bulimic.
Elaine is dying slowly of academic fatigue.
Elaine justifies the racism of black people against white people.
Elaine wants to be an alcoholic when she grows up.
Elaine is not mature enough to appreciate you.
Elaine has learned to accept the suburban dream as a viable future.
Elaine thinks this is the fall of the Roman empire, take two.
Elaine would really rather not.